Sunday, March 30, 2014

How long do you blog? How old is your blog? Whats off limits? Blogger rules.

Dear blogger and reader,
On an average how long do you spend posting a blog?

How long do you spend promoting it?

I would add a survey but you seem busy.
The most popular reports seem to have collected data for Social media, but not blogs alone.
Also, since a majority of them seem to be working w/pics or vids, it must not take them very long to post.

I do spend time promoting it, but I just don't see a clear path to promoting in a short time.
Any and all advice would be of great help.
When do you blog?
I blog after work, but sometimes work can be stressful.
Based on a very ineffective sample size, here is a representation of the average bloggers day.

To me , due to the awkward incident of posting about my female relative's lack of education, ethics and efficiency has become off limits. Everyone secretly enjoyed it, downloaded the post and printed it out, but somehow I am the bad guy?

My grandma was so grateful she gave me a kiss.. she never kissed anyone in all her life.

Objectionable content is off limits.
Besides, there is enough of that in the tax form anyways.
I object to being poor.
That to me is objectionable, but apparently one cannot state it on a blog.

In a blog, you have a chance at therapy. Sharing one's misery is so helpful when one runs out of alcohol or Tylenol or paracetamol or Ingersoll( I dont know her but she rhymes). Since sharing is caring, I will also share with you how to get a spiffy looking blog in a reasonably short amount of time.
1) tweet a lot
2) ask your Twitter pals for content
3) point out their content's defects online
4) deactivate the existing twitter account
5) get new handle and a new blog url.
6) repeat till you have no option but to move to a remote place that does not have the INTERWEBS
7) .... Ran outta coffee, BRB. More later. More later w/lateral thinking.
You think that this is very flip and light: You are wrong.

Here are some more rules:

Blogger rule 27: Well timed insults and pranks will leave you poor and helpless unless you are Will Ferrell.
Always use Twitter, unless your account has been suspended for being articulate.
Blogger rule 28: Skip blog rule 28, its about taxes.. very hurtful. Follow the rule, pay your taxes , just dont spread the misery.
Blogger rule 29: Blogging gives you a chance to watch the exponential growth of page views with the promotion on each additional social media outlet ( and sometimes inlet). Promote your blog through more than one Social Media site such as Instagram, Twitter, FB, and Tumblr.
Blogger rule 30: If you haven't read my other post you don't deserve my solution to the monetization of your experience with your parole officers.

I am glad you are here, because according to the uncertainty principle, if you are here then, you can't be doing anything antisocial like developing common core math problems. Although, on second thought some problems seem like they were crafted while the author had the 6th craft beer while doing so. Also probably reading a blog.

Saturday, March 29, 2014


Low self esteem and social anxiety: A blogger is more likely to have these so you might as well admit to suffering from them.

An unlimited supply of beverage of choice, not necessarily your first choice..
We both know that you will have to wait for 70 days before it goes on sale and by the promo from you credit card would have expired.

A safe distance from premium channels
A text editor that is the envy of J.K.Rowlings or notepad, which ever gets your point across.
At this point what does it matter?
You are broke, I are broke, the car broke.. Nobody cares.

The odds of your being in Yale and reading this are so low that I will buy the State lotto if you can prove you are at
same goes for Harvard, MIT, Princeton, and a couple of other schools i hate because i coUld not attend them.

A camera that is recommended by papparazzi or NASA or both
Terrible workplace

Two back-up devices to get to Social Media

You don't know what that is? If you have to Google it, you have been employed far too long.

Being at least two standard deviations away from the average iq within 200 hundred mile radius where pdf is the population density function.

Routine watching of the Big Bang Theory and emulating Shelly.

Being on a first name basis will Maher.. Well if you don't know him/her I cannot help you.

I assure you that all effective bloggers know Maher.. Its not a typo, I did not mean Mahler.
He is not my bookie or the dealer or a parole officer. We are insulted. One slap on the wrist and everyone is so-o judgy.

A restraining order against the colleague who wants you to buy a time share. 1 in 43 colleagues will do this and your office has 47 employees. Still, I say employ the pre-emptive strike.

A very rudimentary talk plan from your mobile carrier because last I checked few can pull off typing while talking. Buy a headset.

A good dental plan because you are likely to stop brushing when you see the number of page views. I was depressed too, until i found the automatic pageview generator .
The automatic pageview generator is a store in a different country that will generate page views for a fees and some Nike shoes.
Turns out the shoes are more important because they will hack into your card account anyways. Their country has banned Nike because of the false claims of shoes toning muscles.

A very calm approach to the nightly onset of shopaholic sprees,where you buy the most unwanted items.

54% of the bloggers, according to an infographic are women. Most of these bloggers also read other blogs, but seem to do so in the mornings or on the weekends. So save your best for then. Be sure to generate unique content.

Unique content leads to pageviews and return customers:

Only you have seen your aunt steal the family heirlooms while at the funeral. A vivid description of this would make it unique content, if painful. This knowledge, until you share it with us, will be unique to you. I would say that the probability of anyone else knowing that is very low, so please blog and use your smart phone to Insty her guilt. I know your dad wont forgive you for this, but everyone in the family resents her more. Hopefully your dad will calm down once you reassure him that the casino incident is "forgotten".
I cannot talk about moms, though.. I am truly scared of mine.

This is not blackmail if you:
1) are preventing Swarovski crystal swans from being stolen in the near future.
2)and haven't asked her for compensation.

I say this because a statistically significant number of aunts bequeath their worldly possessions to the observant nieces and nephews. Smartphones have only increased the rates and proven my point.

Bring your Android tablet to the brunch with her this Sunday, before she blows it all on her elective surgery.

Why do you think I am blogging?
I cannot afford therapy and in her need to be right, my mom corrects my grammar, syntax and lectures me on stylistics.
I needed to vent my hurt and anger at being corrected for the past decade or so. The mean number of corrections is 2 per sentence. I am not stupid, she is very clever.

It is my blog and you will cry if I want you to. So will I but then that's not the point.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Blogging house geometry, fashioned after Ogden Nash's Boarding-house Geometry

Blogosphere geometry fashioned after Ogden Nash's Boarding-house Geometry

Hello Bloggers!
I have so many things to share in this post!!
I wanted to run some things by you .
The blogosphere is a subset of the internet and phone using population.
From what I have seen in reports, more than 35% of internet users blog.
Of these female internet users are more likely to blog than men.
Of the female bloggers, at least half are moms.
Now for the theorems:
The Frequency of blog posts Bf is inversely proportional to the number of demanding dwellers in a residence and falls off by a square of the distance from the place of work.

In other words the longer the distance/commute to work, the fewer the posts. You heard it here!

Frequency Bf of blog posts is directly proportional to the ease of access and the speed of the internet.
It also varies greatly with the speed and user-friendliness of your device.
The very arbitrary constant that is constantly arbitrary is the demanding child/pet/in-law/pet-in-law/spouse/mother-in-law and the like. If your job is to handle Social media from an office then I am a little sorry for you.
Because now it is the distance from the annoying co-worker or the boss( enough said).

What region of the world is most likely to blog for-ever and ever?
I assumed that most of the world's most frequent social media users would be from the frozen over tundra.

It is not Russia, not Spain, not Brazil,or China. You would think that the Scottish or the Irish would write the best blogs because their weather can be a bit.. well..different!
Will you try to find out what region of the blog has the highest number of social media entries?
Who spends the most time on Social Media sites?


Naturally, I was just as surprised as you may have been.
However, United states exceeds Australia in its population.

If Aussies spend more time on Social Media, then what is the most popular make of the most popular device used by Aussies?
According to, Androids are gaining ground in Australia.
iPad sales may have slowed down a bit.

In the United states, the iPad has increased in sales in the past couple of years.

From what I heard when talking to bloggers: There is nothing like the traditional keyboard.

I then wanted to find out what the quickest route to popularity via social media was: instys(Instagrams), tweets and plenty of photos. Careful how you tag them though.

So why a tablet and not a laptop?
Weight price , apps.. there are many considerations.
Also, a tablet is ideal for reading and tweeting.
The capacitive-touch enhanced experience will only rise in popularity from what I see, read and hear.

To wind up, in addition to the blogging house geometry, the Android tablet is very likely to become a constant in the world of blogs, microblogs and tweets.
Any stocks/ options come to mind based on these stats?

Some apps and sites you can use for your social media are:

I hope you use these. Let me know how your blog is going!
One very important theorem for blog traffics is that time invested is directly proportional to the views, after adjusting for topic and widgets and of course the all important network.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

What device is the most blogger-friendly ?

The device you use to write blog on is very very important.
Travel blogs require a laptop or a tablet.
Have you ever blogged using a smartphone?
I doubt it was the same as your tablet.

I have used various devices and I found that the Chromebook, Lenovo, Dell and all tablets are easy to carry around and
CHARGE! Tablets that can handle all my graphics are: iPad , Samsung galaxy note, Android tablet from various companies, in that order.
If you want to and need to blog from your smart phone, I suggest getting a keyboard that can be used with a phone.

The most ideal device is not one device but a device and some peripherals.

Use a keyboard with your tablet and blog from just about anywhere.
Have you ever used the kind of keyboard that you could just roll up and pack away? It exists and it is pretty pretty cool.

I am beginning to think that there is a relationship, after talking to bloggers, to the device and the age of the blog.
People who have been seriously blogging for more than a year seem to be buying better, more user friendly devices.
People who blog for a living have state of the art back up systems and devices.
Bloggers who are less than 35 years of age as of 2014, are more likely to blog using a tablet.

Do you see a useful trend here?
I do.

If most bloggers are below the age of 35 or lets say , fall into the age range of 21-45 ( pretty broad), then your target audience is likely fall in that range.
What does this audience prefer to READ your blog on?
The most used device dictates how you present your blog.
The rhetorical question: Is your blog mobile friendly?
For Heaven's Sake, make it MOBILE friendly!

If more than 33% is blogging seriously and 60% of those are below 35, from a population of 26 million,
How many tablets and tablet friendly keyboards can one expect to sell?

Just kidding: I love to mess with numbers and this was just me asking a hypothetical question.
What interests me more is that the serious blogger is also very likely to be a serious tweeter.
More than 60% of tweeters are ..
Read my next post!

When you use a tablet and a keyboard, your life as a blogger gets easier.

It is a plus that the laptop may be used by your feline friends.

Writing/blogging is a small part of your blogging efforts. If you are serious then you have to read a lot. This can be accomplished on any device. Kindle fire seems to be popular.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Pick your poison: Word Press, Blogger Weebly or something else?

If you ask me, you should choose Wordpress if you are an experienced blogger, or at least not a newbie. Then try your hand at Weebly. (If Moore's Law is to be believed, then this technology will get cheaper. An addendum to that is: Technology will get more user-friendly. So make sure to keep yourself informed of the updates.)

There has been an explosion in the number of bloggers.
Technology has started evolving to allow for easy blogging.
Initially seen as an online diary, now it is a very important tool to connect directly with the consumer and audiences around the world.

What technology are all these people using?
Blogger vs Word press.. Hands down WordPress.
But then there is a new user-friendly smart resource called Weebly. It is catching up to the other two very fast!

Here are some more interesting facts:

Majority blog from their homes.Very few people blog from a coffee shop.
Weekend blog traffic is much higher from non-news bloggers.

A little more history:
In and around 2004, there were 24 million sites and now that is more like a billion perhaps. It is very likely to grow to a trillion. This seems mathematically impossible. I investigated this.
After having spoken to at least 40 people,( a very inadequate sample size BTW :D), I found out that each blogger has more than one blog. Many of them have been inactive for a while. Very few start blogging because of their passion alone....

If you are a reporter/ journalist, you absolutely have to blog at some point.
blogger becoming reporters is more likely after 2007, than the other way round, because the original reporter is being replaced by the multitasking younger generation.

photo credit: Zanthia via photopin cc

photo credit: ScaarAT via photopin cc

Bloggers are everywhere!

(Source : Google search result,

With a background in statistics, I wanted to write about data.
I will do so, not giving up on my dream yet. There is another area that has captured my attention: Blogging itself.
With the advent of the laptops in the 2000s and the tablets now readers and writers of blogs seem to grow exponentially. This intrigued me.
What is the most popular subject for blogging?
Is there a region in the world that has the best bloggers?
Are all Americans blogging all the time?

Here are some statistics that might interest you.

*Apparently the highest number of blogs are about photography.

*People below the age of 35 are more likely to blog than those above 35.

*People in advanced countries have a higher tendency to blog.

Are you blogging?
How old is your blog? Useful widget for websites
Free Widget

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I was under the impression that social media and blogging are mutually exclusive, but if the numbers are to be believed, they are not and there is a correlation.

However, the Chinese seem to have fewer blogs compared to the rest of the internet equipped world.
Most bloggers are Americans, like I said before, but the numbers are increasing in Europe.
Now businesses promote their products via blogging.

Bloggers are everywhere because both the professional and the amateur blogger benefit by it.
Initially a hobby, it has evolved into an important skill and content generation with back-links is serious business.