Friday, April 4, 2014
Blog Post Dos And Donts.. Well, given your attitude, mostly donts.
10 + people who should NEVER know of your blog.
The drunk patron at P.F.Cheng's who is disruptive, awful and loud.
Your rehab co-ordinator/director/personal trainer.
Your boss from hell who steals your ideas and over works you like in the cult fave "The Office Space".
The neighbor who always wants to borrow something.
The snoopy, officious hill-billy workman working on your building's exterior.
The over paid financial expert who will sink your 401K.
The colleague who competes with you, steals your work and wants you to pay a $20.00 for cover charge for her sister's baby shower.
The 300-lb neighbor who thinks she "be" Madea but in fact is an ex-custodian fired for stealing supplies.
The manager who is being nice to you. Trust me it's just that: Being nice for sometime.
He is up to something.
Your friend , who is actually a frenemy.(Your friend keeps brushing up against your significant other and texts without your
knowledge. Don't ever ever ever leave your blog's edit page on your screen and step away. IDK how valuable your significant other is to you, now that you know. I am sorry you had to find out this way. I strongly feel that your blog is more important , give that your significant others' Fico score is 580-600. )
10 innocuous comments that will get you into trouble:
"I had a snack because the lasagna was salty and soggy.":
Your uncle the sous chef and your mom co-ordinated.
Your uncle made the lasagna, your mom got the vegetable lasagna strips on double coupon day.
Since that happens only once in a while, she has stocked up.
The average thrifty mom buys 4-6 packs when each pack is 29 cents after all the coupons.
She drove 9 miles to get to that store.
Now she will switch to helping your sibling and your Christmas gift will be some lasagna noodles in the pack.
She will also comment on your blog as anita206 and tell you that your writing is very blah.
Shut up about snacking.
"I thought you and Jeremy were moving in."
Jeremy's mom will faint and your aunt will leave wordless, with a very stricken look.
Your cousin will hack into you blog after that, because he was going to make certain announcements when he was good and ready.
Watch the page-views for your blog posts take a nosedive, and get ready for the ugly comments.
"Ryan will be so happy with the corner office."
Your boss has been stringing three people along , dangling that office as a prize.
After a period of ugly scenes and Ryan crying like a girl, they will all seek to punish you.
1) Everyone heard you say that and there will be a discussion at the Superbowl party.
2) The IT guy has let everyone know that you visit the blog site on Saturdays when you want to put in the extra hour at the office and needed to check on your blog comments.
The joint probabilities of the IT guy being tall, self-assured and being an IT genius, while at your company are very small.
I know there are seven more to go.
Some are very embarrassing. I have to work on the details.
I will update this as soon as I talk it over with some of our colleagues.
There is a sale going on at the most popular shoe-store on-line, and I need to help my cuz land some Nicki Minaj type of heels. ( Girl so tiny, unlike Ke$ha, who be tall. I am very street these days, so that my blog be off the chain, fo shizzle)